| 2nd annual halloween ride |
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| Moderators: redbaron, MDKramer, Flyone, AZgl1500 | Page:   ... 6 7 8 9 10 11 |
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| Posted: Tue Nov 29th, 2011 04:11 am | 201st Post |
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cigars and women, dangerous line to start out with, i used to say “I’ve never met a cigar i didn’t like.” oh, yeah and women, i used to say pretty much the same thing; only this week i smoked the worst cigar ever, and met a woman, (notice i did not say lady) that i didn’t care for much either. and it happened at the same time. i was smoking a new cigar, “man of war” a Churchill, and i was not enjoying anything about it. not how it burned, it tunneled, then canoed (these are all bad things if you didn’t know) and frankly the draw was horrible. i always smoke a cigar when i head to the post office. so here i am smoking a crappy cigar and when i go into the post office i always lay my cigar on the window ledge of the post office. i go in get my mail and as i’m coming out through the door i’m just in time to see this woman toss my cigar on the ground and step on my cigar. i mean throw a burning baby into a fire, (not really) so i walk up to her and say “hey you owe me 8 bucks for that cigar.” i really didn’t expect her to pay, but i was totally unprepared for the verbal onslaught i was to receive. heck, i’ve had my a$$ chewed out by drill instructors and i never batted an eye, but being chewed out by grandma really burned my but. man she was working up a sweat chewing my out. what made it worse was i started laughing that’s when she poked me with her finger, now i have never hit a woman, so i asked her a question; “are you and I going to sleep together?” Man did she start sputtering and her cussing got worse. so i pulled out another cigar as she explained that we would never sleep together and how dare i suggest such a thing and i’m just standing there with this new unlit cigar in my mouth. as i start to light this new cigar she goes ballistic and again i ask her ” are we going to sleep together” and she says “no, no no never” and how dare i light up another cigar and on and on and i say to her again ” are you sure we are not going to sleep together” now she goes completely berserk and spittle is flying from her mouth and she redder than a boiled lobster and she finally asks me the right question; “why do you keep asking me that?” my honest to goodness reply; ” if we aren’t sleeping together than i’m going to shove this cigar where the sun don’t shine and no one has seen your a$$ in 20 years anyway.” she stops dead in tracks (figuratively) and smiles, (which scared the hell out of me let me tell you) she lets out a little giggle ( i’m thinking about drawing my gun) and playfully slaps me on the arm and says; ” oh you sound like my dear departed husband, he was always yelling at me and saying he was going to shove something somewhere, god i miss him.” and she starts tearing up and i’m about ready to set the quarter mile record for the sprint. because i dead scared she’s going to want me to go home with here shove something somewhere. so i’m changing my mailing address and hope i never have to go to the post office again. (honest to god true story)
____________________ NRA, TSRA, VETERAN, LEHMAN 2008 GW TRIKE http://ludlowsmokes.wordpress.com/ |
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| Posted: Fri Dec 2nd, 2011 01:35 am | 202nd Post |
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LMAO...Doc, I wish I could have been there to watch this. Too funny. haha
____________________ Texas Winged Horny Toads NRA Life PGR # 183546 Boy Scouts of America Darkside # 1114 IBA #45601 1998 GL 1500 SE 50,000 miles **Pegasus** 2006 Suzuki Burgman 18,000 miles |
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| Posted: Sun Dec 4th, 2011 01:01 pm | 203rd Post |
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You have a very interesting life Doc...
____________________ http://www.culleynet.com "A man with nothing to lose is a powerful commodity." Me, 2001 "I'm not a biker, I'm a motorcyclist." Me, 2010 1996 GL1500A 71K-ish (Oreo Darkside and lovin' it! Rear ~ Dunlop Winter Sport 175.60.R16 ROF Front ~ Bridgestone Battlax 130/60-18 reverse mounted) 1998 Valkyrie 56K-ish ("Darkside" Goodyear Triple Tread Assurance 205.60.R16) |
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| Posted: Thu Dec 22nd, 2011 04:40 am | 204th Post |
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Darn it Doc, I just spilled coffee all over my keyboard, laughing my butt off...
____________________ Jerry N5DTR 1984 GL1200A 1994 GL1500A (Gone to a better home) 2004 Harley Sportster 1200 Custom (Wifes Bike) 2000 GL1500SE 25th Anniversery Edition (Pearl Coronado Blue) Some days it's not even worth chewing through the restraints... "We ride and never worry 'bout the fall...guess that's just the cowboy in us all." -Tim McGraw http://emsangelsmcgulfcoast.com/index.html http://roadguardians.org |
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| Posted: Thu Dec 22nd, 2011 10:14 pm | 205th Post |
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my wife says i am an odd ball magnet, if there is somebody strange out there i'm going to run into them.
____________________ NRA, TSRA, VETERAN, LEHMAN 2008 GW TRIKE http://ludlowsmokes.wordpress.com/ |
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| Posted: Fri Dec 23rd, 2011 01:21 pm | 206th Post |
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LOL...yep, you found all of us, didn't you? 
____________________ Texas Winged Horny Toads NRA Life PGR # 183546 Boy Scouts of America Darkside # 1114 IBA #45601 1998 GL 1500 SE 50,000 miles **Pegasus** 2006 Suzuki Burgman 18,000 miles |
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| Posted: Fri Dec 23rd, 2011 07:46 pm | 207th Post |
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DrifterTex wrote: LOL...yep, you found all of us, didn't you? Don't know what your refurring to.  Attachment: DOC WEB,S HALLOWEENER 037.JPG (Downloaded 24 times)
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| Posted: Fri Dec 23rd, 2011 07:53 pm | 208th Post |
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ALL TO TRUE, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE PEACE ON EARTH THROUGH SUPERIOR FIRE POWER
____________________ NRA, TSRA, VETERAN, LEHMAN 2008 GW TRIKE http://ludlowsmokes.wordpress.com/ |
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| Posted: Fri Dec 23rd, 2011 09:38 pm | 209th Post |
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DOCWEB wrote: ALL TO TRUE, Seconded.... 
____________________ Texas Winged Horny Toads NRA Life PGR # 183546 Boy Scouts of America Darkside # 1114 IBA #45601 1998 GL 1500 SE 50,000 miles **Pegasus** 2006 Suzuki Burgman 18,000 miles |
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| Posted: Sat Dec 24th, 2011 04:46 am | 210th Post |
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that guy does know he's courting the wrong end of the chicken right??
____________________ NRA, TSRA, VETERAN, LEHMAN 2008 GW TRIKE http://ludlowsmokes.wordpress.com/ |
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| Posted: Sat Dec 24th, 2011 04:55 am | 211th Post |
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DOCWEB wrote: that guy does know he's courting the wrong end of the chicken right?? The bad part of that is we were all standing there watching. Go figure never know were your going to end up. 
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