| The Sleeve Job | Rate Topic |
| Moderators: redbaron, MDKramer, Flyone, AZgl1500 |
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| Posted: Fri Jul 3rd, 2009 08:56 pm | 1st Post |
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On a farm out in the boonies, lived this young lad who had met an older woman, from the big city, named Jill. She had recently moved into a house down the road from the farm. While the lad was a bit naive, having been born and raised on a farm, Jill was worldly and was teaching the lad some love making tricks he'd never even dreamed about. One day they were on the couch, and things were getting hot and heavy when she told him, "I want to do something different today. I want you to give me a Sleeve Job." "A what?" the lad asked. "A Sleeve Job," Jill replied. "I want you to give me a Sleeve Job." "What's a 'Sleeve Job'?" "I can't tell you," Jill said, coyly. "You'll have to find that out yourself. I'm too much of a lady." So the lad left, despondedly. Who in this hick town would know what a Sleeve Job is? He asked himself. Then he brightened; Mom! Mom would know. She's from the Big City, too! In fact his whole family was from the City except he, the youngest, having been the only one born on the Farm. He rushed home and charged in the kitchen where his mother was busy cooking dinner. "Mom! I have a question for you." "Okay, Son. Anything for my darling boy," she replied. "What's your question?" "What's a Sleeve Job, Mom?" She stopped what she was doing, her face took on an insane look and she grabbed the biggest butcher knife she could find, charging him, swinging the lethal weapon at him. It was all he could do to keep out of her way; she was a madwoman! She chased him throughout the house, never quite reaching him with the knife, until finally he was able to escape. Panting and sweating he reached the woodshed where his father was cutting and stacking wood for the winter. "Dad," he sobbed, "Mom just tried to kill me with a butcher knife. And it was just because I asked her a question!" "What?!?" replied his father, "Your mother loves you, like I do! What on earth question could possibly make her do such an awful thing ?" "Are you sure you want me to ask it? After all, Mom was okay until I asked her what a Sleeve Job is... oops!" His father turned beet red, he grabbed the axe he was cutting wood with and took a swing at his son; trying to behead him. he took off and ran into the corn field with his father cursing and ranting after him. Finally, after much zigzagging, he loses his old man in the vast rows of corn. Really despondent now he wandered aimlessly through the corn field and happened on his older brother, Bill, who had just fixed a tractor that had broken down while he was harvesting the corn. Bill looked at him and said, "Wow! Look at you! You look like something the dog ate and then threw up. What's wrong, Bro?" Now he and Bill were close. Closer than most brothers, in fact. But, in light of current events, the lad was hesitant at disclosing to his older sibling what the cause of it all was. All he would reveal was, "Mom and Dad just tried to kill me!" "What? Kill you? What on earth for? They love you, man. I find that hard to believe!" exclaimed Bill. "It's true! I swear!" the lad sobbed. "Okay, okay," Bill consoled him. "I'm sure it was all a misunderstanding. I'll get it straightened out. I know I can." "Really?" the lad looked up, hopefully. "Of course! That's what brothers are for ! You and me are tight, so it's no problem. Now, what happened that would make murderers out of such great parents?" "I dunno, Bill. I'd thought everything was all right with Mom and Dad and look what happened. All I did was ask them a simple question and they went ballistic on me." "Well, no matter what it is, guy, you know I wouldn't do that. Remember, we're tighter than most brothers." "Welllll, okay. Here goes: What's a Sleeve Job?" Bill's expression of love instantly changed. His face got red, his eyes glazed and took on a murderous expression. He jumped on the tractor he'd just fixed and started it up. Then tried to run his brother down. The lad jumped out of the way just in time and managed to elude his now not so close brother on the much slower tractor. Now more despondent than ever, he went back to Jill's place and knocked on the door. She answered it and saw the condition he was in. "What hurricane hit you?" "My whole family. I asked my Mom, Dad and brother what a Sleeve Job is and they each tried to kill me!" "Oh, you poor, poor baby," she cooed. "Just because you've been through so much, I'll have to show you what a Sleeve Job is, but first I'll have to take a shower. Meanwhile, you can undress and wait for me on the couch; I won't be long." She went into the bathroom, took off her clothes and started the shower water. Then, when she went to step into the shower, she slipped on a bar of soap on the floor she hadn't seen, hit her head on the toilet, killing herself instantly. The poor lad never did find out what a Sleeve Job was. If you find out let me know too!
____________________ Graham nsu quickly, suzuki 50, yamaha fs1e, yamaha 250yds7, triton 750, trident750t150, norton commando 850 roadster, honda750 f1, honda 750 f2, honda gl 1100, bultaco 250, kawasaki 500 h1, jpn commando ,25yr gap 2001 gl 1800 love it |
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| Posted: Fri Jul 3rd, 2009 09:37 pm | 2nd Post |
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I hope you're not coming over to the Irish Treffen next month, 'cause I'll kill ya   
____________________ http://www.seahunter.ie If ya wanna fulfill ya dreams, stop asking permission. |
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| Posted: Fri Jul 3rd, 2009 10:05 pm | 3rd Post |
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____________________ Graham nsu quickly, suzuki 50, yamaha fs1e, yamaha 250yds7, triton 750, trident750t150, norton commando 850 roadster, honda750 f1, honda 750 f2, honda gl 1100, bultaco 250, kawasaki 500 h1, jpn commando ,25yr gap 2001 gl 1800 love it |
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| Posted: Fri Jul 3rd, 2009 11:42 pm | 4th Post |
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Captainbrian47 wrote: I hope you're not coming over to the Irish Treffen next month, 'cause I'll kill ya  Ye shall find no sanctuary here in the land of Yanks either, Lad!! 'Tis a cold, cruel thing ye have done. 
____________________ I do all my own stunts... Mike |
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| Posted: Sat Jul 4th, 2009 12:10 am | 5th Post |
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How many sleepless nights I will have until I find out the answer...
____________________ Scott Traveling fork rebuilding and motorcycle delivery available. Fork seal tutorial http://www.goldwingfacts.com/forums/forum9/72576.html 86 GL1200 Aspencade |
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| Posted: Sat Jul 4th, 2009 12:42 am | 6th Post |
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To read something that long, to be left with NOTHING        That's good
____________________ Spider Bob GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY, GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps, it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." Patriot Guard Rider |
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| Posted: Sat Jul 4th, 2009 12:45 am | 7th Post |
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I know what it is, but if I tell you, I'll have to kill you! 
____________________ Steve 1998 GL1500 SE When you own a Gold Wing, you take the long way home! |
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| Posted: Sat Jul 4th, 2009 08:15 am | 8th Post |
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ANYONE ELSE WANT BACON? No doubt it has something to do with the noise behind the door at the monestary...
____________________ The Rev. William B. Henry, Jr. 1994 SE Trike |
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| Posted: Sat Jul 4th, 2009 08:28 am | 9th Post |
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Excellent as usual Graham, where do you get 'em?
____________________ Paul '04 GL1800 in the Fastest Colour. http://www.rblr.co.uk If you find yourself unable to stand behind our troops, please feel free to stand in front of them. |
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| Posted: Tue Jul 7th, 2009 08:32 pm | 10th Post |
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ooops I made the mistake of googling sleeve job - I figured it was just made up.
____________________ 1999 GL1500 CF (Valkyrie Interstate) "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible." - T.E. Lawrence A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds - Emerson Put the bitch down..... Mrs Fly http://www.nassir-news.com http://www.kanwings.com http://www.wild-rhinos.com |
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| Posted: Thu Jul 9th, 2009 11:17 pm | 11th Post |
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tybme wrote: ooops I made the mistake of googling sleeve job - I figured it was just made up. Yup. Me too. I really didn't need to know THAT!! How do I keep getting drawn in to these things? MERCY!
____________________ I do all my own stunts... Mike |
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