Don't Mess with Mom - Steve Saunders Goldwing Forums

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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-02-2006, 08:34 AM Thread Starter
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Location: Alvin, Texas, USA
Year: 1983
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My son came home from school one day,
with a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
to put me in my place.

"Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights'

It says I need not clean my room,
don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak, or what to wear.

I have freedom from religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
and I sure don't have to pray.

I can wear earrings if I want,
and pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
get tattoos from head to toe.

And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
with the marks on my behind.

Don't you ever touch me,
my body's only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.

Don't preach about your morals,
like your Mama did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!

Mom, I have these children's rights,
so you can't influence me,
or I'll call Children's Services Division,
better known as C.S.D."

Of course my first instinct was
to toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
made me think a little more.

I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.

Next day I took him shopping
at the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, "Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.

I've called and checked with C.S.D.
who said they didn't care
if I bought you K-Mart shoes
instead of those Nike Airs.

I've canceled that appointment
to take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. is unconcerned
so I'll decide what's best."

I said "No time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
to make your own sack lunch.

Just save the raging appetite,
and wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
a favorite dish of mine."

He asked "Can I please rent a movie,
to watch on my VCR?"
"Sorry, but I sold your TV,
for new tires on my car.

I also rented out your room,
you'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. requires
just a roof over your head.

Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
will buy me something neat.

I'm selling off your jet ski,
dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!

Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
instead of C.S.D..?"


~Butch~~~
1983 GL1100A,Wineberry
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-02-2006, 09:11 AM
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Good one Teacher!

I have a nephew that pulled that kinda thing on my sister. He told her that if she ever spanked him that he would call the police. She proceeded to call the police and told them what he had said. They dispatched 2 officers to her home where she proceeded to whoop his little a** right in front of them. He wasn't so mouthy after that.

Kid now days seem to think that they can walk all over their parents and the police will arrest them if they lay a hand on them.

When I grew up, if I did wrong, I got to take a littletrip out behind the wood shed.

Chris & April Sanders
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-02-2006, 01:48 PM Thread Starter
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1984GL1200A wrote:
Quote:
Good one Teacher!

I have a nephew that pulled that kinda thing on my sister. He told her that if she ever spanked him that he would call the police. She proceeded to call the police and told them what he had said. They dispatched 2 officers to her home where she proceeded to whoop his little a** right in front of them. He wasn't so mouthy after that.

Kid now days seem to think that they can walk all over their parents and the police will arrest them if they lay a hand on them.

When I grew up, if I did wrong, I got to take a littletrip out behind the wood shed.
Yep!

~Butch~~~
1983 GL1100A,Wineberry
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-02-2006, 01:53 PM
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1984GL1200A wrote:
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When I grew up, if I did wrong, I got to take a littletrip out behind the wood shed.

My dad had his leather belt and my mom her wooden spoon....

I think the worste part was when I was at my grandparents and they made me go out and cut my own switch


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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-02-2006, 08:28 PM
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DigbyODell wrote:
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they made me go out and cut my own switch
Been there, done that! And I learned one thing real quick.... I had better not come back with some puney littlepoor excuse for a switcheither....



Chris & April Sanders
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-02-2006, 08:51 PM Thread Starter
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1984GL1200A wrote:
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DigbyODell wrote:
Quote:
they made me go out and cut my own switch
I had better not come back with some puney littlepoor excuse for a switcheither....

:chee ky1:





~Butch~~~
1983 GL1100A,Wineberry
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-02-2006, 09:02 PM
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Yep, I have cut quite a few switches for Mom to use on me. Dad said it was the best technique for keeping the bushes trimed around the house.

Gene

Gene Lester
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-02-2006, 10:01 PM
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The reason kids are disrespectful now is because the fuel oil companies don't give out free yard sticks anymore. When ever the truck filled our tank when I was of a more bratty age, the driver would give my mother a yard stick printed with the name of the company and their phone number on the back. She needed a new one often because they often broke on my backside. When we lived on Okinawa she bought a bamboo yard stick, I hated that thing, it never broke.

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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-02-2006, 10:53 PM
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When I was about 9 I was in line for a much deserved spanking. My mother (being the modern thinker she was) said I could go down to the front hall and chose the shoe to be used for my spanking. So using all the worldly knowledge I attained by the age of 9 I pick what we called a thong (not the underwear) some call them flip flops those soft rubber slipper like things with the piece between the toe and over the top. I figured it was soft, flexible. How much could it hurt???? I guess I should have know when I placed it in her hand, she looked at it, then at me and said. "Are you sure you want to use this one? you can go back and pick an other one" But I stuck to my guns figuring I had out smarted her. BOY WAS I WRONG!!!!! to this day I can't look at a pair of these without rubbing my butt and having a flash back to that day.

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No question A.T.G.A.T.T. (Even when it's stinking hot!!)
And if it's too stinking hot to gear up, it's too stinking hot to ride.

If your not man enough to take the lead, stop complaining from behind.

I SURVIVED NASSIR 9.... barely.
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-03-2006, 04:01 AM
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Luckily, I have only had to spank lil digger once... Now when he is acting up all I say is, "You look like you need a reminder how big my hand is and how bad it hurts that lil [email protected]@" Works everytime


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