It is the Kids Fault - Steve Saunders Goldwing Forums

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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-09-2012, 08:18 AM Thread Starter
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This was in the Chicago Sun-Times today.



Ads for the new movie “Friends With Kids,” in theaters today, feature the tag line, “Love. Happiness. Kids. Pick two.”

The theme of sleep-deprived new parents snapping at each other has some real life foundation.

More than 25 separate studies in the past two decades find that marital quality takes a dive with a baby’s birth: babies raise stress, reduce happiness and otherwise upset the household, experts say.

“Kids do lower marital satisfaction and there’s not much we seem to be able to do to prevent it,” says Brian Doss, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Miami.

Ninety percent of the 218 couples in an eight-year study Doss co-authored experienced a decline in satisfaction, he says.

Clinical psychologist Harriet Lerner, author of the new book Marriage Rules, which discusses “Kid Shock,” advises taking a long view.

“Relationships that appear to be falling apart ... may look entirely different down the road,” said Lerner.

New research by Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan of Ohio State University finds that parents show poorer adjustment if they think society expects them to be perfect.

“Worrying about what others think about parenting was bad for mothers because it lowered their confidence, and was bad for fathers because it increased parenting stress,” she says. The study was published last month in the journal Personality and Individual Differences.

Gannett News Service







Life is a collection of stories we old people tell and hope a few will listen and carry them into the future.

There is a story to everything we have, everyone we have met and everything we have done or we will do or dream about doing.

We sometimes ride to forget, but hopefully we never forget to ride.

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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-09-2012, 08:36 AM
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While it's simplistic I don't think there would be a problem if we didn't want so much stuff. Kids take up time and money that many people want to spend on things.

Len
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-09-2012, 08:45 AM
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Kids today base happiness on things. Parents feel obligated to provide those things. I say work em, and pay an allowance if you can, and teach them something about how to get stuff they want. I see so many young-un's with no job, no responsibilities, and drive a 35 thousand dollar car to school! Teaches them NOTHING! jmo jimsjinx

"We are put here, to take care of each other"
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-09-2012, 09:01 AM
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KIDS ONLY DO AS THE STUDY SUGGESTS WHEN THE PARENTS ARE FOCUSED ON WORLDLY MATTERS AND SELFISHNESS.

IF THE PARENTS ARE DEVOTED TO EACH OTHER, THE KIDS, AND OTHERS INSTEAD OF THEMSELVES THEY WILL FIND GREAT JOY AND SATISFACTION IN HAVING AND RAISING CHILDREN.

(sorry about the caps lock but I am not retyping it again)

Some of the poorest most miserable people I know have plenty of possessions and few family. But the richest happiest people I know have a simple home full of kids, and do without regularly, instead their riches are in family and friends, and their joy and happiness just oozes out of them.

'RIDE TO BE SEEN'

Most common quote from a cager after killing a motorcyclist is?

"I never saw him".
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-09-2012, 08:25 PM
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unionjk wrote:
Quote:
KIDS ONLY DO AS THE STUDY SUGGESTS WHEN THE PARENTS ARE FOCUSED ON WORLDLY MATTERS AND SELFISHNESS.

IF THE PARENTS ARE DEVOTED TO EACH OTHER, THE KIDS, AND OTHERS INSTEAD OF THEMSELVES THEY WILL FIND GREAT JOY AND SATISFACTION IN HAVING AND RAISING CHILDREN.

(sorry about the caps lock but I am not retyping it again)

Some of the poorest most miserable people I know have plenty of possessions and few family. But the richest happiest people I know have a simple home full of kids, and do without regularly, instead their riches are in family and friends, and their joy and happiness just oozes out of them.
X2!

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'96 Magna (Karen's 3rd bike)


Former bikes
'72 Yamaha DT100 '72 Husqvarna WR250
'63 Sears Allstate Puch '76 Suzuki RM100
'79 RM125 '71 Honda CB350
'77 Honda CB550 4k 94 Kawasaki Vulcan 750
'83 Honda GL1100A '83 Honda GL1100A
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'80 SR250 (Karen's 1st bike)
'93 Suzuki GS5000E (Karen's 2nd bike)
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-11-2012, 03:17 PM
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jimsjinx wrote:
Quote:
Kids today base happiness on things.
Kids always have based their happiness on things and they learn most of what they know from their parents...

In our quest to make things better for the next generation, we have failed to teach them values or how to work. We give them whatever they want (sometimes even when we can't afford it) because we can't bear to disappoint them.

What we've done is raise a generation that knows nothing about sacrifice, personal responsibility or dealing with the consequences of poor decision making. Life is often a hard place to survive, but we are not giving our kids the tools required to cope with all the thorns in the rose garden.

This is reason I fear most for the future of our great country.

Tired of people pulling out in front of you? Get a white helmet!
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-11-2012, 04:29 PM
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awingandaprayer wrote:
Quote:
jimsjinx wrote:
Quote:
Kids today base happiness on things.
Kids always have based their happiness on things and they learn most of what they know from their parents...

In our quest to make things better for the next generation, we have failed to teach them values or how to work. We give them whatever they want (sometimes even when we can't afford it) because we can't bear to disappoint them.

What we've done is raise a generation that knows nothing about sacrifice, personal responsibility or dealing with the consequences of poor decision making. Life is often a hard place to survive, but we are not giving our kids the tools required to cope with all the thorns in the rose garden.

This is reason I fear most for the future of our great country.
We have a conundrum. We don't want our kids to go through what we went through but we want them to have the sense of responsibility that only comes from going through what we went through.

Len
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-11-2012, 04:35 PM
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nobbie wrote:
Quote:
awingandaprayer wrote:
Quote:
jimsjinx wrote:
Quote:
Kids today base happiness on things.
Kids always have based their happiness on things and they learn most of what they know from their parents...

In our quest to make things better for the next generation, we have failed to teach them values or how to work. We give them whatever they want (sometimes even when we can't afford it) because we can't bear to disappoint them.

What we've done is raise a generation that knows nothing about sacrifice, personal responsibility or dealing with the consequences of poor decision making. Life is often a hard place to survive, but we are not giving our kids the tools required to cope with all the thorns in the rose garden.

This is reason I fear most for the future of our great country.
We have a conundrum. We don't want our kids to go through what we went through but we want them to have the sense of responsibility that only comes from going through what we went through.
I don't think I've ever heard it said that well.

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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-11-2012, 04:58 PM
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blackknytecnc wrote:
Quote:
nobbie wrote:
Quote:
awingandaprayer wrote:
Quote:
jimsjinx wrote:
Quote:
Kids today base happiness on things.
Kids always have based their happiness on things and they learn most of what they know from their parents...

In our quest to make things better for the next generation, we have failed to teach them values or how to work. We give them whatever they want (sometimes even when we can't afford it) because we can't bear to disappoint them.

What we've done is raise a generation that knows nothing about sacrifice, personal responsibility or dealing with the consequences of poor decision making. Life is often a hard place to survive, but we are not giving our kids the tools required to cope with all the thorns in the rose garden.

This is reason I fear most for the future of our great country.
We have a conundrum. We don't want our kids to go through what we went through but we want them to have the sense of responsibility that only comes from going through what we went through.
I don't think I've ever heard it said that well.
Ya. And from a Canadian too!!! Well said Len!! I might ad if it's ok "responsibility" and work ethic "that only comes from going throught what we went through."









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And if it's too stinking hot to gear up, it's too stinking hot to ride.

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I SURVIVED NASSIR 9.... barely.
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To all of the troops and Vets. Thank you. I will never forget.

A proud Wild Rhino(Ontario) since 18 Jul 2013 (That mating sound thing really works!!)
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-13-2012, 09:27 AM Thread Starter
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In my Bride's and my case we both were raised where Christmas from the parents was one present such as in my case one year a cheap wood bow with one arrow. So when we had kids we tended to go overboard on Christmas. I guess you can say they were a product of our own upbringing. However do not get us wrong about our childhoods, it was just a product of the times and parents that just did not have the money for lots of fancy presents. Food and a place to live was primary and we understood that.

Life is a collection of stories we old people tell and hope a few will listen and carry them into the future.

There is a story to everything we have, everyone we have met and everything we have done or we will do or dream about doing.

We sometimes ride to forget, but hopefully we never forget to ride.

Illinois Patriot Guard

Honda SL 175
Honda XL 350
Honda CB 750 X 2
Kawasaki 250
Honda GL 1200 Interstate
Honda GL 1800 (my last and one of the last made in the USA)
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