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Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was
closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the
younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in
peace. Take us to your leader.' The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. The older alien
said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.'

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again,
there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!'

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't
want to do that! I really don't think you should make him mad.'

'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the
pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball
roared towards them and blew the younger alien off his feet and
deposited him a burnt, smoking mess about 200 yards away in a cactus
patch.

Half an hour passed. When he finally regained consciousness, he
refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent antenna, and looked
dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over him shaking his
big, green head.

'What a ferocious creature!' exclaimed the young, fried alien. 'He damn
near killed me! How did you know he was so dangerous?'

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy
friend and replied, 'If there's one thing I've learned during my
intergalactic travels, you don't want to mess with a guy who can loop
his penis over his shoulder twice and then stick it in his ear.'
 

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One I have never heard before and a good one too!!!
 

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...:shock::shock::shock::D:D:D:cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::dude::dude::dude::dude::dude:
 

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That's brilliant, I love it!
 

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I'll never be a ble to pump my own gas again without thinking of this. EEEWWWW
 

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That was just to damn funny!:cool::cool::cool::cool::cool:
 
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