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[align=left]To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown, Savannah [/align]


[align=left]I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you [/align]

[align=left]demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and [/align]

[align=left]my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and [/align]

[align=left]earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to [/align]

[align=left]apologize. [/align]


[align=left]I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after [/align]

[align=left]you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a [/align]

[align=left]reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my [/align]

[align=left]girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for [/align]

[align=left]Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it [/align]

[align=left]that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating [/align]

[align=left]weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? [/align]


[align=left]I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to [/align]

[align=left]wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in [/align]

[align=left]your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up [/align]

[align=left]leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have [/align]

[align=left]you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us [/align]

[align=left]again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as [/align]

[align=left]you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your [/align]

[align=left]situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your [/align]

[align=left]shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, [/align]

[align=left]along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet [/align]

[align=left]itself in a dumpster. [/align]


[align=left]I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be [/align]

[align=left]on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel [/align]

[align=left]recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a [/align]

[align=left]little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. [/align]

[align=left]I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about [/align]

[align=left]to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. [/align]

[align=left]Oh well. [/align]


[align=left]So, about your pants; I know that I was a little rough on you when [/align]

[align=left]you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it [/align]

[align=left]up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like [/align]

[align=left]to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you [/align]

[align=left]used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or [/align]

[align=left]powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead [/align]

[align=left]making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll [/align]

[align=left]reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be [/align]

[align=left]so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch [/align]

[align=left]and laundry. Peace! - Alex [/align]
 

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:clapper::clapper::clapper::clapper: Ya' gotta watch out for them gawga boyz!!!:cooldevil::cooldevil:
 

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I like that. Got to remember some of those liners.

I would have added an emoticon, but when pressing the button it says the web page is not accessible??
 

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Just goes to show you that you don't bring a knife to a gun fight!! :cooldevil:
 
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