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I am the Hobo
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A motorist is pulled over by the police who suspect he has been drinking. They invite him to blow into the breathalyzer.

'Sorry, officer,' he says, 'I can't do that for you.'

He then produces his wallet, from which he extracts a card on which is Printed: National Health Service. The bearer of this card is a registered asthmatic. Any attempt to blow could lead to an attack which may prove fatal.

'Very good, sir,' says the policeman, 'If you would care to accompany us to The station we can take a blood sample.'

'Sorry, officer,' says the driver, 'I can't do that for you either.'
'And why not?'

The driver goes back to his wallet, from which he extracts a different card. National Blood Transfusion Service. The bearer of this card is a registered Haemophiliac. Any attempt to give blood may prove fatal.
'Fair enough, then,' says the copper, not a little impatiently, 'looks like
It will have to be a urine sample. Please get into the van.'
A third card is produced:
Newcastle United Football Club. This man is a registered supporter. You are kindly requested not to take the piss out of him
 
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