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Bubba, fresh from the cornfields of his family farm, was encouraged to try out for the local football team.

“Can you tackle?” asked the coach.
“Watch this,” said Bubba, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.

“Wow,” said the coach. “I'm impressed. Can you run?”
“Of course I can run,” said Bubba. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.

“Great!” enthused the coach. “But can you pass a football?”
Bubba rolled his eyes, hesitated for a few seconds, then said, “Well, sir, if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it.”
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The thought of Bubba's reply even hurts.
 
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