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If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.


Say "no" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.


If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"


If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog has the gout..."


If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"


Ask them to repeat everything they say several times.


Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"


Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up . . . louder . . . louder . . .


When the salesperson asks, "Is this the homeowner?" say, "Is this the salesperson?" And when they say, "Yes," hang up.


Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their home phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up

And here is one more I do when A news paper company calls tryng to sell their paper.
I ask them to send it in braille they say sorry then hang up.
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Gosh I hate those folks!!! Why don't they get a real job supplying people with something they really want.? I refuse to ever buy anything over the phone , anything.
I think they should have to pay each person that they call something , even just a dollar.
My telephone is there for me to use , not any and every deadbeat to harass me with !
I too use these tactics you suggest , I keep them on the phone as long as I have time for, I may say I'm cooking something, or someones knocking at the door., etc etc. just to put the thing down & come back and harass him more!!
Actually I ended up changing my phone ##'s to a private unlisted one just to get a clean new number.
My phone don't ring now!!! I had a consecutive number before that was too easy to dial .:boo:
 

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Two tactics;

Say " I have no money" - usually works.

Or, I put it on speaker phone, let my wife listen as I waste that person's time for 10 minutes, after which I say not interested.
 

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I always hang up immediately, so they have more time to spend with all youse guys!! :cheeky1::action:
 

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I like to waste their time. They would rather you hang up if your not interested, that way they can move on. Time is money. Wish I could remember these when the time comes!

John
 

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I am the Hobo
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Do sometimes enjoy keeping them on the line, they aren't earning comission when they are arguing with me.:cheeky1:
 

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Just one of the guys
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Best one I ever did.

Guy calls and wants me to get their VISA card. I ask if I can transfer the balance from my Mastercard. Guy says "SURE CAN!!!".

I say "Good, 'cause I am tired of them SOB's calling all hours of the day asking for me to send them money!"

Never did get that VISA card.
 

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I've found that the last thing they want to do is admit they are "selling something". Since 99.9% of people mispronounce my last name I always know when it's a telemarketer. So the first thing I do is ask them what they are selling. When they say "I'm not trying to SELL you anything sir, I'm offering you this opportunity to blah blah blah". To which I respond "You're a liar" and hang up. It's a little cold-hearted but I'm tired of them interrupting my dinner.
 

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FenderHead wrote:
I always hang up immediately, so they have more time to spend with all youse guys!! :cheeky1::action:
But you see this does not work ,,, they just keep calling ,,,,and keep calling ,,,,,,,,,and you are constantly have to get interrupted at least long enough to hang up on them ,you have to take a stand and make war !!!
These people mean to take over your lifeline to the outside world!!!
They want to put the burdon of their lowly parasitic enterprise on your backs!!!It is TIME TO UNITE AGAINST THE TELEMARKETER!!!!Take back the AIRWAVES !!!
WE Want THe AIRWAVES!!!! AIRWAVES !!!WE WANT THE AIRWAVES!!!:cooldj::fighting::headbanger::blowingup::nospam::bowing:
 

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Well you should not give me ideas. I am dangerous enough as it is . :cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1:

I had a salesman on the phone yesterday for at least 20 minutes, trying to get me to buy plumbing supplies from somewhere in Texas, so you have a cheap price, and I have to pay freight? Where is your brain?

Anyways it finally came to be known that we are in a serious economic strife situation around here and to keep from laying off my two helpers, I have furnished them with a trailer and an old used lawnmower to pull the trailer with, they are busy picking up aluminum cans alongside the road, and hopefully if you will please call back in 13 days I will have gained enough profit to order some of your materials. :cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1:

He told me where I could go, got all upsit. ;) Kit
 

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The best one...got rid of the house phone.

Now if I get a call on my cell that I don't know the number, I ignore it. If it is important, they'll leave a message.
 

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I like sounding very interested but when it comes to money tell them that Ijust lost my money at a gameof pokerand if they would lend me $100 bucks i could turn it around buy what they are selling and double tier money for them..

""No really I got a sure shot on the goose races. i know this goose is gonna win, all I need is your hundred and I can double it, Trust me on this one."""
 

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These are funny stories, but I rarely get telemarketing calls.

Several years ago, I was one of the first people in my area to get Caller I.D. When It was first available, I wanted it so I called the phone company and said how do I get this thing.

Then, after a short period of time, people started complaining that Caller I.D. violated their privacy!?! Yeah, right, it violated their privacy. They are interrupting me in my home and they think they have a right to privacy? Anyway, they got the ablity to block their phone numbers from showing on my Caller I.D.

Then the pendulum swung the other way. Those of us with Caller I.D. complained about all these blocked numbers calling us.

So the phone company gave us ANONYMOUS CALL REJECTION. You could set your phone so that anyone with Caller I.D. blocked their call wouldn't even get through.

A good friend of mine complained to me and said she had to turn off her blocking each time she called me, or else she got a polite recording from the phone company saying I wasn't taking her call.

But an interesting thing happened. 95% of all the telemarketing calls went away.

I hear all these people talk about all these interruptions they get every evening and I haven't experienced that in over 15 years.

Now we have the Do Not Call list, and it works too, I suppose, but ANONYMOUS CALL REJECTION has been working for me for years.

Instructions are in the front of your phone book.
 

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"I swear you people are driving me crazy! I just can't take this anymore!" (fire a gun into the the floor and drop the phone) Quietly pick it up again and listen.

Pick up the phone, but don't say anything, start screaming obscenities at your wife and slapping your thigh while she whimpers.


Pick up the phone and just don't say anythign at all.

Pick up the phone ans start reading from the bible.

Pick up the phone and imediately ask "Hi is Dave there?"

Say hello then try to sell them something ridiculous...like hair tonic.


About two minutes into the conversation ask them how their mother is doing.

Answer everything they say with secret agent code words.

When they ask or you buy name them tell them that " no he isn't here. He went to jail last week, he aparently tracked down some telemarketer, tortured killed and ate him, and the eating part was both before and after the killing.

Warn them that the call is being recorded for masturbatory purposes.
 

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Broke.... you are as mad as a box of frogs, therefore I have chosen your #to take my "call divert" system. Should kick in tomorrow. :cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1:

( trust me, you will just have so much fun with UK telemarketers, who incidentally are mostly in India, so I would recommend you sign up at your local colledge for Urdu classes:D:D)



we have "preferential mailing" and have stopped junk mail and telemarketeers, it works well and I recommend it. It can be done via the internet, just a google away. :)
 

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if you have caller id and call fowarding you can take the number from the telemarketer that called while you were out and foward all calles to them. just make sure you pickup the phone if its someone you know or have friends and family call your celphone
 

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We have caller ID and an answering system that announces the number of the person calling. If it is a blocked call or I don't recognize the number, I don't get up to answer the phone. Works well for us.
 

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I have told them to send their information in the mail along with a 10 dollar bill to cover my time to read it. They hang up. Never got a $10 yet.
 
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