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How to work on any Japanese motorcycle.

By G. Ray Glenn Sr.

Humorous but absolutely true! These are all things I learned while working on my 1980 GL1100 GoldWing.

First thing to do is plan on working on the bike, several days in advance.
Then warn the whole family that you are going to work on the bike.
You don’t want them making plans and not telling you about them until after you’ve started. This gives them the opportunity to run and hide too!

Note to self; lock the gun cabinet.

Note to self; set the alarm clock for 6AM.

Note to self; preset the coffee maker for 5:30AM
(NOT PM this time)


First go buy all the parts you are going to need and have them ready.

Note to self: Never wear your favorite jeans to do this. Wear the oldest rattiest jeans you got.

First make sure you have metric wrenches, metric sockets and metric allen keys.
Make sure you have long flat and Philips screw drivers, 10 inches at least.
Make sure you have 4 or 5 extensions for the ratchet in different lengths.
2 inch, 4 inch 6 inch 10 inch, you get the idea.
Make sure you have a couple of universal sockets for them tight places.
Make sure you have a comfortable stool to sit on. Preferably one that rolls and swivels.
Make sure you have plenty of rags to wipe your hands on.

Now in my mind this is a perfectly legitimate use for those god awful ugly neckties you get at Christmas, Easter, your birthday etc.

Make sure you have plenty of liquids to keep you hydrated.
NO BEER! (BEER is for when the job is done.)

Make sure you have a guy to talk to while you’re working and cussing. He can hand you stuff that’s just out of reach ... or on the other side of the bike, … which is where you left it.

Make sure you have a bowl to throw all the nuts bolts and washers in. Throw a magnet in it so they don’t jump out. (Or buy a magnetic ashtray from the auto parts store) I don’t recommend that you use the large stainless steel salad bowl from your wives set that you bought her last Christmas. I was lucky and found one at the local thrift store so I have my own. I put that magnetic ashtray in it and boy does that work great. And if you put the ashtray under it, it acts like a base and the bowl doesn’t fall over and the magnet still keeps all the stuff inside. The whole bowl becomes magnetized. It works great!


First thing to do is take off any show chrome that will be in the way. Set it aside so that it doesn’t get scratched up. Sounds like common sense doesn’t it.

**”Did you ever notice that common sense isnt taught in school anymore?” Thank goodness that it was taught when I was in school. I won't mention that I took that class for 6 years. ... Can we say slow learner?

First take off the front lower fairing skirting. Those two pieces of plastic that have the gills in them. It’s three Philips screws. Don’t loose the washers.

**Never work directly over or near a storm drain because whatever you drop will go down the drain. Storm drains are magnetic! They're called Murphy's law magnets. You know, "if it can fall out of reach down the drain, it will!"


REMOVING THE SEAT
Take off the Allen bolts, one on each side, and remove the seat. You have to take off the saddlebag lids to do this. Sometimes you have to squish the rubber gasket too. Take off those Allen bolts and slide the seat backwards and lift at the front and off it comes. Easy. If it doesn’t come off, slide it further back, you just aint gone far enough yet. Set it aside so it doesn’t get scratched up.

REMOVING THE GAS TANK/POD
First locate the two front mounting bolts, up under the fairing. Take out the two 10mm bolts in the front of the fake gas tank. (That’s why we had to take off the two plastic pieces.)
Take off the two 10mm bolts from the mounting bracket on the cross member. (That’s 2+2=4 bolts.) Now reach down on both sides and gently pull the sides outwards just a little and slide the pod back and up at the same time. Set it aside so it doesn’t get scratched up.

Okay now the preparation work is done and we’re ready to work on the bike.

First thing to do is put on sunblock lotion. (Something in the SPF 30 or greater range.) I use SPF 50 because I’m bald.


Ever notice there sure seems to be a lot of things you have got to do first before you ever get to the work? (That’s got to be at least a half dozen times I’ve said First so far.)

Okay NOW we’re ready to work on the bike. The sun is just coming up and if you’re good its not even 6:30 yet. Take a coffee break and discuss with the guy, what to do next. You want to work smarter, and not harder.

You’re probably chuckling but I’m serious. Thinking twice and working once saves me money. Mostly because I have to put a quarter in the cussing jar for each bad word I use and sometimes working on the bike can cost me $15 or $20 bucks!

Ok now that’s just cruel… quit laughing so hard! It ain’t THAT funny.


Ok... Yeah ... I guess it is.

Anyway these are the hard fought lessons I’ve learned so far. I hope they help somebody.
 

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Gee-Ray,



LOL :dude:That was PRICELESS!!! Unfortunately, your wisdom came a tad too late as I just had my "first" experience w/my 80 gl1100i's tach cable.... see link below:

http://www.goldwingfacts.com/forums/forum1/77038.html



I think I'll print your post in a BIG font and hang it in my garage!!!!



Thanks for sharing,

Ken
 

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That's true, start working at6.00AM! Not like myself, same numbers but PM or later.You know,"thiswill be done in notime, let's finish it tonight"....whenever it should be done in notime I ended up wrenching inmidnight and hoping that neighbours will not shoot me....
 

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You forgot to say;
Once everything is apart and your installing all your new parts, realize that you missed ordering one part, and you can't finish the job until said part arrives, that it will take two weeks to get in.
James
 

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The New Owner wrote:
That's true, start working at6.00AM! Not like myself, same numbers but PM or later.You know,"thiswill be done in notime, let's finish it tonight"....whenever it should be done in notime I ended up wrenching inmidnight and hoping that neighbours will not shoot me....
You know it has really gotten bad when you want the neighbors to shoot you.
 

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:cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1: and i thought it was just me:cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::dude::action::waving: good post, sure helps being able to laugh at yourself.
 

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GRAYGLENNSR...excellent post, been there done that, but don't forget to look in the parts bowl to make sure it doesn't have leftover parts before you start drinking the beer!
 

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Well done!
Just spent some priceless time working on my 80 wing, it was undressed with all the parts sitting neatly along one side of the garage. Pulled out the clutch cable and the next am was putting in the new cable, when Danica my 6 year old grand daughter came through the garage and in her serious voice asked what's wrong with the poor bike? I answered just repairing it, to which she answered If you say so!.

Next day the bike was back together and tested and was sitting in its usual spot when she came in and saw the bike, and asked the bike if she was all right, she patted the seat and said I hope she's all right now 'cause it look like she was in a lot of pain yesterday...to my reply she is just fine.

Danica said that's good maybe next time I should keep you both company, especially when you take these tools to her, I'm sure it would be less pain if I help and hand you things when you need them.

Out of the mouths of babes!
 
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