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Number One Idiot of 2008

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she
caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that
the
ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter
into
the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation
happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to
kill
the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the
emergency
room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Two Idiot of 2008

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a
life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out
of
the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the
river,
they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned
out that
the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater beacon that
activated
when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Three Idiot of 2008

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
Branch and
wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line,
waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone
had
seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached
the
teller's window.. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the
street to
the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed
his
note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his
spelling
errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that
she
could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a
Bank of
America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a
Wells
Fargo
deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was
arrested
a
few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it
anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Four Idiot of 2008

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all of
the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a
bag, the
robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
cashier
refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The
robber
said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she
didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's
license
out
of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.

The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21
and she
put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with
his
loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and
address
of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber
two
hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Five of 2008

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving
revolvers.
The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the
startled
first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Six of 2008

Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided
that
he'd
just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze,
and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at
the
window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It
seems
the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was
caught
on videotape.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Idiot Number Seven of 2008

I live in a semi-rural area (Weyauwega, Wisconsin). We recently had a
new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the
removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many
deer
are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think this is a good place
for
them to be crossing anymore.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STAY ALERT! They walk among us... and they REPRODUCE...!!!




Steve-O
 

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They walk among us
 

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Token Canuk
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& grow up to be politicians :waving::waving::waving::waving:
 

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& other high ranking officials!
 

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President???????
 

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makes you wonder how some can get out of bed in the mornings and dress themselves...........without an Ambulance being called!!!:shock::shock:
 

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They are all over,,,,,,

A moron walked into a local bank and handed them a note demanding cash..

He had written the note on his paycheck stub....

Guess where he's spending the new year.
 

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96aspencade wrote:
& grow up to be politicians :waving::waving::waving::waving:
That's almost to true to be funny! :(
 

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I once had an employee who stole an stereo set out of a customers house. He went to the local pawn shop and used his own name and drivers license to pawn the stolen goods.

Kit
 

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I once had an employee who stole an stereo set out of a customers house. He went to the local pawn shop and used his own name and drivers license to pawn the stolen goods.

Kit
 

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Kit Carson wrote:
I once had an employee who stole an stereo set out of a customers house. He went to the local pawn shop and used his own name and drivers license to pawn the stolen goods.

Kit
Didn't learn his lesson the first time?

The Boeing raft story has been around for 10+ years, and of has been embellished.
 

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I knew of a couple guys who would fit right in with the idiots.

They mowed yards for a lawn service business. They drove an old station wagon and pulled a trailer with the equipement on it. This old car ran hot so they had to fill up the radiator quite often.

For some reason they thougth it would be cool to rob a bank.:baffled:

One day they were stopped at a local bank, making the deposits for the checks they had collected. As the one went in to the bank, the other was standing there filling the radiator from a gallon jug.

The first came running out of the bank yelling I did it,,, I did it. Well the second looking puzzled asked what did you do?

I robbed this bank,,,, the first one exclaimed.

As they made their get away in the station wagon pulling the lawn equipment, the dye pack exploded in the front seat.

Worst part about it was that as the first was standing at the counter getting his bag of money, he forgot he was wearing a shirt for the lawn service.

Some people are just never going to figure out life. Their big joy in life was reading comic books.
 
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