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a little background here about me so you get the gist of the story, prison chaplain, doctor at a psych hospital, ran a violent offenders program, ran a sex offenders program, worked under a bridge feeding homeless, whores and crack heads.



so now you why my attitude towards people suck.



now the story.



our little town opened a brand new beautiful library. state of the art and really cool so i decided to help a friend out one day and fill in for her. long time since i've been in a library.



so in walks this meth *****, dirty, mental, either coming down or going up. and she is in la la land. wants to know how to work a cd. so i decide to have a little fun at her expense.



i told her to go into the ladies rest room, strip down naked, put her finger in her belly button, open her mouth wide and stick the cd in her rear crack. and the sound would come out her mouth.



imagine my surprise when she waddles out of the ladie rooms as detailed above and says she can't hear anything.



i grabbed her breasts and the right one is volume, the left is the fader. .i tell her ....



and now.................







i'm now barred from the library and have to do community service if any one wants to me be re-instated into society please email and come to my probation hearing.
 

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:ROFL: I would probably do the same thing. That's funny.
 

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well it happened again, i'm at a christian book store to pick up a bible for a friend of mine who is in prison and i try to see him at least every other month as it's a wee bit out of the way, but he's a good mate and i try to keep him on the positive side.



so i'm in this bookstore and i have my arms up in the air and both hands resting on opposite book shelves. when this old guy comes up to me and puts both of his hands on top and mine and pins my hands to the shelf.



and then he says; " angel how are you doing?"



now i have to say i'm am pleased that i didn't shoot him, stab him or just go ape sh!t on him and do the monkey dance.



but i did say the following; " i have to ask you 3 questions before i ask you to back up and step back with arms by your side; 1, angel, what are you saying and doing touching me like this, are we brothers in the Lord and you just don't appreciate space, 2; are you like ted bundy or something and you are trying to dominate me? 3, are you gay and don't know that i'm the serial killer.



should have seen the look on this guy's face as he about jumped and ran toward the back of the store, any way i got my book and left.



now tell me that was a normal conversation, there's another place i probably won't be back to soon
 

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I also work in a prison, Fed high security. I would like to commend you on showing such restriant. I think that my first reaction would have been the last thing that the guy saw while he is on this side of the sod.
 
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