I went down the page and read the description: That guy cracked me up!!:cheeky1:
Up for auction isa racing edition Honda CT110 1986 model postie bike (race stand not included). This bike has been developed specifically for carpark and campsite racing by a team of engineers from all over the world. If you buy this bike, you will be awesome like the guys in the last picture. The bike also comes with another couple of kilos of awesome, you can keep this in your backpack for when you need more awesome to beat the other postie bikes.
The bike has a factory rubberless left-side footpeg, designed to help you get further to the front of the bike, to help with cornering.
It has a fore-and-aft gear lever, designed to prevent scuffing of your Doc Martens, or toenail breakage when wearing safety thongs.
The rust-hole in the rear guard underneath the seat has been intentionally rusted-out for lighter weight, helps you get the much-needed boost the clear the triples in Chad Reed's SuperX series.
The front fender has a crack in it from a sonic boom, esteemed USA-born aeroplane pilot Chuck Yeager actually broke the sound barrier at Bonneville on this exact bike.
The bike has a heavy-duty crash bar mounted just in front of the rider's legs, to prevent knee injuries to the rider when riding through your neighbour's veggie garden. Many a knee has been saved from a zucchini-based ACL injury thanks to these crash bars.
The rear fender has been replaced with an aftermarket dirt bike rear fender, as the bike has so much power that the dirt it threw caused the stock rear fender to be blasted into the stratosphere.
The bike has a gearbox filler plug from a new YZ125 in it. This may or may not mean the bike will perform like a new YZ125.
The bike has no crossbar on the handlebars, making tricks such as cordovas and strippers much easier.
The ejector seat has been disconnected, as I accidentally hit the button on the back straight at Frankston motorcross track, and ended up at McDonalds in Bendigo.
The bike has a top speed of maybe 70kph. 70kph is 19.44 metres per second, so if you are sitting on absolutely flat-out awesome fast, you would do a lap of Phillip Island racetrack in 3 minutes 48 seconds, which is way cooler than Rossi doing it in 1 minute 29. This would mean you'd get three times as much television exposure per lap than Rossi would. Rossi's got nothing.
It has a sidestand on the right-hand side, and a centre stand. The centre stand is very handy for putting the bike on display at the motor show.
This bike is no longer allowed to deliver letters, as it used to deliver letters so fast that the mail would get to the recipient before it had actually been posted by the sender, causing all sorts of strife at Christmas time. Seriously, who wants Christmas cards in November?
The headlight doesn't work any more, which is a good thing because it was so bright that I rode a corner once and set fire to a cat with it.
The engine works good, the brakes not so much.
The rack on the back has been rated to accomodate at least 3 slabs of full-strength beer, or 4 slabs of light beer. You could possibly stack maybe 12 casks of Kaiser Stuhl on it, if you are keen. I heard that Matt Edwards, Australian Tetris champion has actually stacked a grand total of 142 boxes of Kleenex tissues onto this rack, and still had room for a pack of Winnie Blues and a bottle of 100 Pipers scotch.
It has a picture of a handgrip on the sidecover, and I don't know why.
The throttle sticks a little bit, it's like cruise control.
Usually tyres are filled with air, some race teams use nitrogen, whereas these tyres are filled with a 70/30 mix of awesome and luck.
The chain is awesome.
I will send the bike to anywhere in Australia if you are willing to organise a freight company. Preferably, the bike can be picked up from either Cranbourne or Hallam, or depending on sale price I may deliver within Melbourne for an extra $20.
Please check my other listings, I have many parts for sale and you could combine your orders and save on freight.
I accept PayPal, direct deposit, or cash on pickup/delivery. If you bid, I'd like you to pay within 48 hours. I've been stuck with items for weeks and weeks that people haven't paid me for!
Feel free to ask any questions, thankyou and happy bidding!