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It was Ferdinand Feghoot who saved the Mulch Expedition on Rumjungle III in 3449. Because the planet's intelligent race dreaded gadgets and hated all strangers, the Expedition could use only native equipment -- semi-intelligent, specialized fauna the Rumjunglians carried in their carapace-pouches. Instead of a compass, they employed a stick-insect which pointed due North on command.

Two weeks out, with the nearest waterhole a hundred miles off, the guides came up rustling politely. "Now is our egg-whistling time, for the spore-sounds," they declared. "We go now. But you safe, Big Soft Bipeds. We leave point-to-North insect. Very fine, one year guaranteed. Goodbye, thank you." After giving instructions on how to make the thing work, they vanished into the darkness.

For another week, the expedition advanced. Then they found that the stick-insect was pointing everywhere except North. They were lost. "But everything's all right," said Professor Hudibras Mulch. "The natives explained. Stick-insects always do this for eight or ten days in the rutting-season. We'll wait. We'll have just enough water."

"No!" Feghoot cried. "I'll pick up a lodestone instead. It's a plot. Look at that insect -- they've given us one that's insane!"

"Insane? B-but how can you tell?"

"It's obvious," said Ferdinand Feghoot. "Non-compass mantis."
 

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:doh:Krikey, PP...you've done it!!! Unless you're using some kind of secretM-5 code words, and I'm missing 'em...THIS could very well be your worst work...EVER!!! :cheeky1:
 

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:cheeky1::cheeky1:ill put it down to the new Meds:cheeky1: but i thought it was a cracker:cheeky1::cheeky1::cooldevil:
 

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uuhhhhhhhhhh...........??????????
 

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pinkpork wrote:
:cheeky1::cheeky1:ill put it down to the new Meds:cheeky1: but i thought it was a cracker:cheeky1::cheeky1::cooldevil:
:cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1:I love ya' man...:alco::cheeky1::action:
 

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:cheeky1:Bump,,for geordie,,enjoy mate:cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1:
 

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It takes a special type of intellect to enjoy crap like that... Unfortunately I thought it was funny.:shock:
 

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exavid wrote:
It takes a special type of intellect to enjoy crap like that... Unfortunately I thought it was funny.:shock:
Oh dear, there are two of us!!!!!:shock::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1:

Good one PP. :clapper::clapper::clapper:
 
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The story doesn't end there, :waving::waving::waving:it continues :-

"No" said Professor Hudibras Mulch, "it's not, Non-compass Mantis, it's Plumbus Pendulus. :cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1:

And "NO", I wont give up my day job........Mate :leprechaun::leprechaun::leprechaun:
 
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