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Like it says...only for the very brave....



The International Council of Man Laws.


1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.


2. It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.


3. Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.


4. If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.


5. Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden.
However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.


6. No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.


7. In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.


8. When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.


9. You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's officially your girlfriend.


10. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.


11. Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.


12. Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.


13. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed..


14. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.


15. Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.


16. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.


17. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.


18. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary..


19. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken monkey sex. The fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.


20. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.


21. Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime, green, yellow, orange or sky blue.


22. The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox 360 or a Playstation- End of story.


23. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating, Dancing or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.


24. Never wear a man bag to work.


25. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:


'GUTS' is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, 'are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'


'BALLS' is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife square on the ass and having the balls to say, 'You're next fatty!'

I hope this clears up any confusion as to where I stand


...AFTER MY PREVIOUS POSTS ;)


Steve

 
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orange1800 wrote:








I hope this clears up any confusion as to where I stand


...AFTER MY PREVIOUS POSTS ;)


Steve

Nope !!! :cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1: :leprechaun: PS. how's Emily :? :cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1:
 

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YOU 'N ME ARE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE THIS OUTSIDE...:X:X

:cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1:
 
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tanygaer wrote:
Can we buy tickets to watch...
I'd say he'd need the money for his Lawyer or enlargement op. :cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::leprechaun:
 

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Ya' know? I've never really seen all the ManLaws on one page before...its downright COMPLICATED!! Much worse that duck hunting laws, even. Are you sure there aren't some simpler laws for RETIRED men??

And...and...what about Foxy??? How come HE don't hafta obey no stinkin' MAN LAWS??? :D
 

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FenderHead wrote:
Ya' know? I've never really seen all the ManLaws on one page before...its downright COMPLICATED!! Much worse that duck hunting laws, even. Are you sure there aren't some simpler laws for RETIRED men??

And...and...what about Foxy??? How come HE don't hafta obey no stinkin' MAN LAWS??? :D
I have Diplomatic Immunity to Man Laws!!!!!!:action:
 

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Silverfox wrote:
FenderHead wrote:
Ya' know? I've never really seen all the ManLaws on one page before...its downright COMPLICATED!! Much worse that duck hunting laws, even. Are you sure there aren't some simpler laws for RETIRED men??

And...and...what about Foxy??? How come HE don't hafta obey no stinkin' MAN LAWS??? :D
I have Diplomatic Immunity to Man Laws!!!!!!:action:
I WANT that, too!!! Who do I hafta BRIBE to get that...that...what you said!! HILLARY???:cheeky1::alco:

(OH, I see what yer sayin' you really ARE a diplomat...:()
 

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FenderHead wrote:
Silverfox wrote:
FenderHead wrote:
Ya' know? I've never really seen all the ManLaws on one page before...its downright COMPLICATED!! Much worse that duck hunting laws, even. Are you sure there aren't some simpler laws for RETIRED men??

And...and...what about Foxy??? How come HE don't hafta obey no stinkin' MAN LAWS??? :D
I have Diplomatic Immunity to Man Laws!!!!!!:action:
I WANT that, too!!! Who do I hafta BRIBE to get that...that...what you said!! HILLARY???:cheeky1::alco:

(OH, I see what yer sayin' you really ARE a diplomat...:()
I won't bore you with the GOREY details, nore shall I WEX lyrical about how I went about it. Suffice to say, good MANAs come into it. ;);)
 

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Silverfox wrote:
FenderHead wrote:
Silverfox wrote:
FenderHead wrote:
Ya' know?  I've never really seen all the Man Laws on one page before...its downright COMPLICATED!!  Much worse that duck hunting laws, even.  Are you sure there aren't some simpler laws for RETIRED men??
 
And...and...what about Foxy???  How come HE don't hafta obey no stinkin' MAN LAWS??? :D
I have Diplomatic Immunity to Man Laws!!!!!!:action:
I WANT that, too!!!  Who do I hafta BRIBE to get that...that...what you said!!  HILLARY???:cheeky1: :alco:
 
(OH, I see what yer sayin'  you really ARE a diplomat...:(
I won't bore you with the GOREY details, nore shall I WEX lyrical about how I went about it. Suffice to say, good MANAs come into it. ;);)
Oh dear, oh deer. I should have been alert enough to see that coming....
 
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