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No Mushrooms

A group of country friends from the Cottonwood Baptist Church
wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize and play
games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.

When it came time for Al and Janet to be the hosts, Janet
wanted to outdo all the others. Janet decided to have mushroom-
smothered steak. But mushrooms are expensive.

She then told her husband, 'No mushrooms. They are too high.'
He said, 'Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of
those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed.' She said,
'No, some wild mushrooms are poison.' He said, 'Well, I see
varmints eating them and they're OK.'

So Janet decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed,
sliced, diced them for her smothered steak. Then she went out
on the back porch and gave Ol' Spot (the yard dog) a double
handful. Ol' Spot ate every bite. All morning long, Janet
watched Ol' Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect
him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Janet even hired a helper
lady from town to help her serve. She had on a white apron and
a fancy little cap on her head. After everyone had finished,
they relaxed, socialized, and played 42 and dominoes.

About then, the helper lady from town came in and whispered in
Janet's ear. She said, 'Mrs. Williams, Ol' Spot just died.'

Janet went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she
called the doctor and told him what had happened.

The doctor said, 'That's bad, but I think we can take care of
it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quick
as possible. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out
everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them

Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down
the road. The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases,
syringes, and a stomach pump. One by one, they took each person
into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their

After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said,
'I think everything will be fine now.' and he left.

They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living
room and about this time the helper lady came in and said,
'You know, that fellow who ran over Ol' Spot never even stopped.

Premium Member
6,278 Posts
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:cheeky1::cheeky1::cool:ho,,, yes!!!!:cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1:

Premium Member
6,097 Posts
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I like it!!!! At the next big church dinner Nancy goes to, I'll send along a copy..
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