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Stimulus Payment Info.
"This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a
very exciting new program that I will explain using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV
set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy ofChina?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help theUSeconomy by spending
your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go toChina.
If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer it will go toIndia.
If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go toMexico,Honduras, and
Guatemala(unless you buy organic).
If you buy a car it will go toJapan.
If you purchase useless crap it will go toTaiwan.
And none of it will help the American economy.
We need to keep that money here inAmerica. You can keep the money in
Americaby spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it
on prostitutes, beer and wine (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are
the only businesses still in theUS.
