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Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my

Husband that my breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he

Uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion.

'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet

Paper and rub it between them for a few seconds'.

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in

Front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 'How long will this

Take?' I asked.

'They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies.

I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between

My breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?'

Without missing a beat he says, 'Worked for your butt, didn't


He's still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk

Again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a Straw.
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