Steve Saunders Goldwing Forums banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,566 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
imported post

Dear Friends

As we move closer to the end of another year I wanted to thank you for
all the e-mails you have forwarded to me over the past year.

I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat poo
in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with
every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to wipe the top of every can I open for the same
reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl who
is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. But that
will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates and Microsoft
are sending me for participating in their special email programs. Or
from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split seven
million dollars with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a
customer who died intestate.

And I need no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels
looking out for me.

I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails
to seven friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the
car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling
up.

I no longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug me with a
food sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number and then I'll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,
Singapore and Uzbekistan.

I can't even pick up the five pounds I found dropped in the car park
because it was probably put there by a crazed axe murderer waiting
under my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 10
minutes, a large pelican with an acute case of diarrhoea will sit on
your head and fleas from 12 camels will infest your back .

I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next door
neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's plumber - and
it was on Good Morning Australia.

By the way.... did you know that a South American scientist has, after
a lengthy study, discovered that people with low IQs who don't have
enough sex, always read their emails while holding the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late. :doh:
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
10,010 Posts
imported post

please send me fuel vouchers.....the rest can stay where it is...hehee
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
5,502 Posts
imported post

Tattoo Taffy wrote:
please send me fuel vouchers.....the rest can stay where it is...hehee
:waving:Hey Kangaroo, glad to see you are still alive and wishing for a new 1800.
:) Kit
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
4,910 Posts
imported post

Tattoo Taffy wrote:
please send me fuel vouchers.....the rest can stay where it is...hehee
Aaaa-HA! THERE you are, spanky! :cooldevil: So fill us in, matee...what'cha been up to? Probly won the sweepstakes, eh? There are some about that had you in the slammer...others put you on a walk-about. Then...a few had me imagining unspeakable things...:cheeky1:
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top