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One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols. This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly. "Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet." was the shop owner's reply.

The shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot's left foot. Chet began to sing: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..." The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with: " Silent Night, Holy Night..."

The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm. When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed.

"How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?" "No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you." So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: "Jingle Bells! Jingle bells!..." The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came: "Silent Night, Holy night..."

The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not know. "Let's try it," he answered, eager to please his wife. So they held the lighter between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, and the little parrot sang out loudly like it was the performance of his life: "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire...."
 

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When I was a kid, my buddy's mom had a parrot. One day while she was at work we decided to teach it to cuss. It took a while, then it started to say a couple of "choice" words.

Well, it was all fun and games until hes mother pulled up in the drive in the middle of the work day. The stupid bird would not shut up!

At a loss as what to do, I opened the refrigerator door and he tossed the bird in. Quickly, I shut the door.

Seems his mom forgot something she needed at work, and stopped in at lunch break to look for it. Lucky for us, she didn't have time to eat!

After what seemed like forever, she finally leaves. We opened the fridge door and pulled out the bird.

Now the bird was totally silent, totally still. No bobbing around, no foul mouth. At first we figured it was just cold. But after a while we started to get worried.

Andy was holding it, cupped between his hands to warm it up. I was trying to get it to act normal. Nothing! It just sat there in silence.

Then, just when we were about to start panicking, I bent down close to take a look.

The parrot stretches its neck out, cocks its head sideways, looks at me and says:







Soooooo, what did the chicken do?
 
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