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>>The "Middle Wife" by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
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>>I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids
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>>myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own
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>>second-grade classroom a few years back.
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>>When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few
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>>sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and
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>>usually,
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>>show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model
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>>airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never,
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>>ever place any boundaries or limitations on them .
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>>If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
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>>Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing
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>>kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a
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>>pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an
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>>infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about
>>his birthday."
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>>"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad
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>>put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for
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>>nine months through an umbrella cord."She's standing there with her hands
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>>on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my
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>>camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
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>>"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh,
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>>Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. "She walked
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>>around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now this kid is
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>>doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.
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>>"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't
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>>have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie
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>>down in bed like this." Then Erica lie down with her back against the
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>>wall.
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>>"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in
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>>case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed,
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>>like psshhheew!" This kid has her legs spread with her little hands
miming
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>>water flowing away. It was too much!
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>> "Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe,breathe.
>>They started counting, but never even got past ten.
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>>Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky
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>>stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there
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>>must be a lot of toys inside there."
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>>Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her
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>>seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest.
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>>Ever since then,when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder,
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>>just in case another "Middle Wife" comes along.
 
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