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Pet Diary

The Dog...

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 PM - Ran back and forth in the hall! My favorite thing!

5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 PM - Got to play tug! My favorite thing!

8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


CAT DIARY...

Day 983 of my captivity…

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates
and I are fedhash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my
contempt for therations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat
something in order tokeep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me
going is my dream ofescape

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearlydemonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely madecondescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

Bastards!

They continue to pick me up and handle me, an obvious
attempt to subvert me.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the
event. However,

I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I
must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate
one of mytormentors by weaving around his feet as he was
walking. I must try thisagain tomorrow -- but at the top of the
stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies
and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
released -- and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously
retarded.

Tonight I will again lay on their heads while they sleep
and hope to smother them.
 

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Sounds like my critters except we have a sqwakateil also.
I think his diary would read:
Day 1293:
Trying once again to annoy them with repeated loud and high pitched squawks to let me out of my prison:
I have succeeded with release from the prison!!!
Now more and louder repeated squawks, damn there is a bug must return to safety of the prison!!!!!
 

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Good one.:cheeky1: Now if only people.........oh I won't go there.:D
 
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