[UbarW]

imported post

Napoleon was nearly hit by a cannon ball on several occasions.

If he was then he would have been Napoleon Blownaparte. :cheeky1:

 

[pinkpork]

imported post

UBarW wrote:

Napoleon was nearly hit by a cannon ball on several occasions.

If he was then he would have been Napoleon Blownaparte. :cheeky1:

A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."
:cheeky1::cheeky1::waving:

 

[retiredintime]

imported post

Looks like a tie to me...

 

[da_bull]

imported post

agreed...

 

[Winger 82]

imported post

:coollep:Gotta give that 1 to PINK

 

[UbarW]

imported post

When King Richard I led the Crusades in Jerusalem he had a problem, because he involuntarily kept releasing wind.

He was Richard the LionFart.

 

[wexy]

imported post

A man ges into a doctor ,,Doctor help me I keep thinking I am a wig wam or a tee pee ,doc say ,take it easy man you are too tents

 

[FenderHead]

imported post

Hmmmm...clearly, you guys travel to the beat of a different drum...:cheeky1::gunner:

 

[Papajoe]

imported post

Doctor I am always nervous...........I feel like a pair of curtians...!!!!

Go home and pull yourself together.........:dude:

 

[UbarW]

imported post

Writing with a pencil without a point is pointless!

 

[pinkpork]

imported post


A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut your arms off".

i think this threadcould get out of hand:cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1:

 

[tanygaer]

imported post

I think all contributors of sad jokes should be temporaly suspended for a century....

 

[derekhendry]

imported post

doctor: i am sorry but we need to amputate your leg
patient: can i have a second opinion
doctor: yes you are ugly too

 

[Papajoe]

imported post

tanygaer wrote:

I think all contributors of sad jokes should be temporaly suspended for a century....

Oops............:whip:

 

[UbarW]

imported post

A woman walks into a bar and says to the barman: "I would like a Double Entendre, please."

The barman replies with: "Would you like a stiff one?"

 

[pinkpork]

imported post

:cheeky1::cheeky1:Thats it!!!! iam going to let loose !!!

. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.":cheeky1:



I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high." :cheeky1:

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.. :cheeky1:



Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it." :cheeky1:

"Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home." "That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. " "Is it common? " "It's not unusual." :cheeky1:



Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside." "How's that?" "Don't you start." :cheeky1:



What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. :cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1:say Moo, and ill stop:cheeky1:

 

[Papajoe]

imported post

Mary had a little lamb it always was a grunting she took it up a close one night and kicked it's...............................naw better not.........:angel:

Just use your imagenation......cheers...:toast:

 

[retiredintime]

imported post

MOO

 

[pinkpork]

imported post

retiredintime wrote:

MOO

:cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1::cheeky1:

 

[UbarW]

imported post

A guy walks into a veterinarians office. He's got a duck on his head.

The vet says "what can I do for you?"

The duck says "can you get this guy off my butt?"