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Why,Why, Why ??

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are
getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is
not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but
check when you say the paint is wet?


Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a
revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are
always white?


Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum
cleaner,then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to givethe
vacuum one more chance?


Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping
cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, itisn't all
right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the
table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when
we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering
from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's YOU!
 

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Reminds me of a time when I first saw a sign in a store that said, "$25 fee on NSF checks". At the checkout I asked the clerk if it was okay if I just wrote the check for an extra $25 to save all that time and postage. Clerk didn't think it was funny.

Have any of you Texans ever actually seen a chicken frying a steak?:cheeky1:
 

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exavid wrote:
Reminds me of a time when I first saw a sign in a store that said, "$25 fee on NSF checks". At the checkout I asked the clerk if it was okay if I just wrote the check for an extra $25 to save all that time and postage. Clerk didn't think it was funny.

Have any of you Texans ever actually seen a chicken frying a steak?:cheeky1:

:cheeky1::dude::goofygrin::cheeky1:
 

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Then theres the locks on the doors of a place open 24 hours.

The game piece inside the bag of chips, marked with "no purchase necessary".

Why do we park in the driveway, and drive in the parkway?

Is a frogs butt water tight?
 

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ubarw wrote:
Then theres the locks on the doors of a place open 24 hours.

The game piece inside the bag of chips, marked with "no purchase necessary".

Why do we park in the driveway, and drive in the parkway?

Is a frogs butt water tight?
:cheeky1:Sooooooooo true!
 

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I had gotten a new bank card one day and hadn't signed before I tried to use it. The clerk asked me to sign the card before he would accept and I asked him why. He told me that it prevents theft.

I asked him if I did would he still try to match my signature on the sales draft to the card and he said "Of course!"

Then I asked him, if I had stolen the card and then signed it in front of him wouldn't the signatures still match? While he was still scratching his head I asked him whether it would be better still to ask for photo ID instead.

I still write "Ask for photo ID" on all my cards.

Ruaidh
 
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