[UbarW]

imported post

WIFESPEAK ENGLISH EQUIVALENT
--------- ------- ----------
* You want == You want
* We need == I want
* It's your decision == The right decision should
be obvious by now
* Do what you want == You'll pay for this later
* We need to talk == I need to complain
* Sure,... go ahead == I don't want you to
* I'm hungry == (a) Make me something to eat
(b) Stop what you are
doing, scrape together
your last $$, and go drive
across town
and get me something to
eat. ... I don't
care if what you are doing
is important.
* I'm not upset == Of course I'm upset, you
moron
* You're,... so manly == You need a shave and you
sweat a lot
* You're certainly == Is sex all you ever think
about?
attentive tonight
* I'm not emotional! == I'm having my period
And I'm not over-
reacting!
* Be romantic, turn == I have flabby thighs
out the lights.
* This kitchen is so == I want a new house
inconvenient
* The car is empty == Go fill it up
* The trash is full == Take it out
* The dog is barking == Go outside in your
underwear and see what is
wrong
* I want new curtains == and carpeting, and
furniture, and wallpaper
* I need wedding shoes == the other 40 pair are the
wrong shade of white
* Hang the picture == NO! I mean hang it there!
there
* I heard a noise == I noticed you were almost
asleep
* Do you love me? == I'm going to ask for
something expensive
* How much do you love == I did something today
you're really not going
me? to like
* I don't like it == I don't really like it,
like it (my addition!)


In answer to "What's Wrong?"

* Nothing == Everything
* Everything == My PMS is acting up
* Nothing, really == It's just that you're such
an [censored]
* I don't want to talk == Go away, I'm still building
up steam.
about it